America is a world of islands metaphorically speaking. We each stand on our own islands shouting our convictions with boldness and blindness. Our goal is to be heard and that our tenacity and declaration will provide the change we desire. As if by words alone, the world would shift and be kind and embrace all.

Add to the social and inequality unrest a pandemic that seeks to divide and isolate further by keeping us in our own little world. The result has been socially distancing not only from those we dearly love but from those whom amends need to be made or from enemies that need to sit across from each other and listen and learn.

If an enemy was attempting to destroy a nation, they could not create a more strategic plan than what is happening. Create a plot to cause dissension, division, isolation, and inevitably death from within the nation, without one shot being fired from without. We are at war with ourselves, and the enemy gleefully celebrates our destruction.

What if instead of hunkering down on our own island, expecting and demanding that everyone adhere to us and our ideals, we actually begin building bridges? Could it be that simple, and yet that profound?

One brick or board at a time we build a bridge of healing. We do something to span the gulf of the great divide between us. We act on the premise that seeking to understand is powerful and leads to healthy, diverse communities. Finding commonalities unite us because we are much more similar than we’d like to admit. We all have fears, insecurities, and doubts. We all have people we love and care deeply for. We all have talents, joys, celebrations, and heartaches, pain, and failures.

If we remain entrenched in our political, ideological bunkers, we accomplish nothing other than making our presence known and awaiting an opportunity to attack the other side. The posture of hunkering down within our embattlements allows hate, bitterness, and bigotry to seep into our very pores.

However, if we begin to build bridges… they provide a path to unity, to understanding, to serving one another. As Brene Brown states in “Braving the Wilderness”, “People are hard to hate close up. Move in.” If you study wars throughout the ages, you will notice that enemies blow up bridges --- they eliminate the very tool that could bring people together and resources to a specific community. The absence of bridges leads to isolation, loss of hope for rescue, sense of a doomed destiny. But the presence of bridges creates the avenue to carry healing, hope, and community!

Once a bridge is built it can be traversed often --- monthly, daily, or hourly if you so desire. The path to bring a people together is established – the hard work is finished. The reaping of the benefits of this link to one another can now be a reality.

We are each presented with a critical decision. Will we remain on our own individual islands, entrenched in the “rightness” of our thinking and convictions, refusing to sit at the table of those who dare to believe differently? Or will we begin to build bridges to hope, understanding, and community and span the divide often? What will you choose?

Let me leave you with words from one of my favorite classics, “To Kill a Mockingbird” --- “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

I really thought I would have more figured out by now. As a young adult, I had determined it was fairly simple. Follow Christ with all your heart and all will be well. Yes and no. As life unfolded, the humbling experience of realizing how little I knew became a reality. Life no longer fit neatly into a box; the heaps of uncontrollable variables and unmet expectations were a rude awakening to my fairytale dream of how life should be. (Key in any Disney movie where all ends with Happily Ever After) And try as I might, I was unable to keep order, control, and optimism. Basically, …

Life Came Unraveled

It starts small… with just one isolated situation that doesn’t fit the mold of your expectations. You are able to write it off as just an unfortunate occurrence. But then begins the domino effect where one by one the structures and plans you so neatly constructed for your life begin to topple. You are left agonizing about how something appearing perfectly placed could so easily fall apart. You cave inward to ask the inevitable questions:

What did I do wrong?

How can I fix it?

Will it ever be the same?

These are scary questions to ask because we may not like the answers we discover. Much of the unraveling is created due to uncontrollable variables and unmet expectations of life. Sometimes the answers to the above are “Nothing”, “You can’t”, and “No”.  This realization can throw you into a hopeless, depressed mindset, left grappling with the motivation of how to move forward.

All of this is compounded when we punish ourselves further wondering if God is present in this suffering. Our tendency is to second guess and mull over past decisions and behaviors with the hope that there is an answer to thwart the unraveling from continuing or to prevent in the future. This agonizing perspective has sought to consume and destroy me from within. 

Somewhere along life’s path, I decided that suffering, the unwelcome and unexpected life turns, meant I had screwed up --- something was wrong with me or my decisions. The enemy used these speed bumps to distract me from ‘Whose I am’ and ‘His purpose’ for my life. The evil one desired to take my eyes off the source of life, peace, wisdom, and joy. Conversely, my eyes began to gaze on myself and the overwhelming, looming obstacle in front of me. 

Kyle Idleman addresses this mixed-up thinking in “Don’t Give Up” and so profoundly explains, “Peter and the other disciples struggle to believe that God cares, because they’re doing what we often do --- measuring God’s concern for us by how hard it’s raining.” 

Often, we have falsely believed that if life is full of heartache, disappointment, and hurt then God must be punishing us or doesn’t care about us.  In actuality, often when we are in the center of God’s will, it rains harder because the enemy is attacking with full force.

Here is the paradox --- suffering in our lives is an opportunity to grow closer to our Lord. Although I don’t believe He causes the suffering, I believe He allows it in order for us to draw nearer to Him, to rely on Him because He is confident that He is exactly what we need. When you realize you have no definitive and absolute control over what ‘falls down’ in your life, you find yourself in a perfect position to look up to Him who does.

So back to the initial question held within the title of this post ---

Where is God When it Hurts?

Right beside you; you are not alone!

Simple, profound, and comforting truth --- God is with you! And if we allow Him, He will create a mosaic of miracles, victories, and redemption from the most broken and seemingly hopeless pieces and situations of our lives. Take a deep breath, remove your hands from the steering wheel, and trust Him who can carry you through.

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Boundary is a common buzzword not only in our personal lives but also in our professional lives. Everyone claims the necessity of them but so few are able to maintain them within daily living. The principle appears straightforward and simple when expressed on paper, but is complicated once introduced to reality. The question becomes “How do we navigate this quandary of boundaries --- effectively transferring from a concept into practical and meaningful daily practice?”

Believe me, the answers are somewhat elusive so this is my humble quest to seek the tools necessary to place in my belt to assist in building boundaries that transform. If you are wondering how successful I’ve been in the past, let me refer you back to my recent post “Hazards of a Nice Girl”. You will easily conclude my need for “Boundaries for Dummies” instructional book.

Let’s contemplate an obvious boundary line that separates each state in this expansive nation. There is a clear, definable line between each state designating where one ends and another begins. Interestingly, the boundaries are not impenetrable. You can cross over into another state with relative ease. However, the understanding is you as a tourist are now bound  by the laws and the customs of that particular territory.

How rich the analogy when equated to distinctive borders set within our professional and personal lives. Boundaries determine our limits, our involvement, our direction. When we draw that line we are in essence proclaiming that others cannot cross certain lines and infringe upon what has been set. Your clearly set boundaries are not impenetrable, people can march right over that neatly drawn line, but you have the power to determine what will be allowed in and out. As Brene Brown states, by setting boundaries, we are “making clear what’s okay and what’s not okay, and why”.

In approaching this subject of boundaries, soul searching was necessary to pinpoint the struggles related to setting and committing to them in my own life. Below is in no way an exhaustive list but has been a springboard of questions to stimulate my thought process and challenge me to a deeper probe.

1. Do I intend to keep the boundary? This question is critical to the process because if there is no commitment to the set boundary being implemented then it is doomed from the onset. Difficulty abounds and determination in sticking to your clearly defined limits is critical. Therefore, if you have no intentions of maintaining the parameters named, then don’t proclaim it. A follow-up and correlated question then becomes…

2. Am I willing to navigate the inevitable repercussions to defining what is okay and what is not? This question is enlightening because it directly affects commitment level to perseverance. Another way to ask the question would be “Is this worth my time, effort and vulnerability?” Personally, this becomes the key decision making answer for me. If I’ve already decided I’m going to compromise if the road becomes tough, then I’ve already decided the value of implementation. Sidenote, there are times that compromise is beneficial to both parties.

3. How will I protect myself and reframe perspective of others? For example, people will misread my actions as unkind. The erroneous belief that setting boundaries is unkind has often influenced my decision to continue living without setting limits. Remember, I’m a recovering ‘Nice Girl’. Brene Brown gives critical insight, “Clear is kind, unclear is unkind.” Let that truth nestle down within you and change your mindset.

4. What if other’s behavior and attitudes don’t change despite the clearly delineated parameters? Don’t be surprised, but there is a good chance they won’t change! The motivation for setting the expectations  are flawed if your goal is solely to change another. No one has the power to control another’s behavior nor attitude. The goal to change my own responses both in action and mindset is paramount. The desire to inspire others to change behavior is secondary and dependent on their willingness to make amends.

5. How do I establish mindset boundaries that are not as clearly definable outwardly? Boundaries that involve setting limits and parameters around behavior are clearly seen by the actions taken or not. Mindset boundaries (clearly defining what your mind will focus on and paths it is allowed to journey) tend to be more difficult to designate but no less necessary. In fact, it could be argued that they are more essential. Confession? My biggest battles are in my mind.

Before setting boundaries, it is necessary to contemplate what has held you back in the past. Without completing this step, forward movement will be stifled. The above are my challenges to moving forward. The honest admission to each of you is I’m still wrestling with the above questions, and I’m not there yet. I’m convinced, though, that empowerment lays in designing a plan to move beyond my lack of boundaries into a world where the determination of what to create and allow rests primarily on myself!

Here’s your challenge: Become honest about why you haven’t set boundaries. List your reasons.

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I’ve always prized myself that I’m a nice girl. Yep, that’s right --- a nice girl --- steady, reliable, defender of the underdog, restrain the roar from within --- nice girl. Don’t misunderstand. The other side is just below the surface, awaiting permission to emerge with a vengeance, but it’s often beaten into submission. But I have to admit --- it’s become exhausting nurturing this persona of nicety, knowing what lies beneath. There are definite hazards to being known as the ‘nice girl’.

1. You are often taken advantage of because everyone knows you are the softy, quick to forgive, and always aiming for reconciliation. You see even if that lion beneath the surface roars its ugly head, it’s quickly replaced with forgiveness and resolution because peace is the ultimate goal. And everyone close to you knows this and uses it as leverage.

2. In order to survive the nice girl image, you must excel in suppressing emotion --- especially hurt, despair, and anger! Everyone is counting on you to let it go. Key in --- theme song to Disney movie Frozen. You pay the price because all that stuffing has to go somewhere --- it is stored within --- killing you from the inside out.

3. Slowly, it becomes your identity. You didn’t mean for it to, but it crept in and left you stunned at how much this characteristic matters. When you allow the beast within to show itself to the world, you are surprised at the audacity of others to boldly proclaim, “You aren’t so nice after all”. And boy, does your ego take a crushing blow for you have wrapped yourself so carefully in nicety because that’s what people celebrate and appreciate about you (or so you have convinced yourself).

4. The discontent within brews a concoction of self-combustion. All that you have stuffed will eventually come out! The ugliness, viciousness, and anger spewed will be a rude awakening to all bystanders that all wasn’t as it seemed. Or if you choose to continue to suppress, you will spiral into further depression because your soul can’t carry the burden. You pay the price for deceiving yourself into believing all is well when it most certainly is not.

5. When you tentatively begin to voice that which you’ve hidden, your tribe might tend to become annoyed because they are conditioned to act in a way that depends on your nicety. This hurts because it solidifies the false notion that you will only be appreciated if you are a ‘Yes Woman’.

These are the real life hazards of portraying a ‘nice girl’ persona my whole life. Yes, that lion beneath the surface attempts to rear its head at times but has remained quite tame. However, as often is the case, the caged beast must fulfill two different destinies --- die or fight.

Personally, fighting this nice girl image is where I currently reside. How do I knock down this representation without feeling I’m losing a piece of myself? The fallacy that Christians are nice has always convicted me when the desire to break free arose. I’ve correlated being nice so closely with who I am as a follower of Christ that I’ve deceived myself into thinking they are one and the same.

Just maybe, a lesson in terminology is necessary. Let’s face it --- being nice is not a fruit of the spirit --- but kindness is. Hmmm. Could we conclude that “Being Nice” is an outward behavior that may not accurately reflect what is on the inside? Quite possibly, being nice is more an image we rely on to appease others and falsify that all is well. We can be nice to those around us without ever resolving underlying issues that are demanding attention and proper boundaries. Being nice feeds your need to please others and to be likable by all. For myself, I believe I’ve been so distracted by the desire to be labeled nice that I’ve missed the deeper meaning of the word kindness and why it is considered a fruit of the spirit and nicety isn’t.

One of my millennial friends defined kindness as a state of being. You see kindness is nurtured within through relying and abiding with our Creator and Restorer, slowly developing fruit that can be used to nourish another. Life is renewed and made better because of kindness as it bears the fruit of love, empathy, compassion, self-sacrifice for another, and tenderness. 

As the days unfold in my near future, I’m going to be asking myself if I’m being kind or nice because there is a huge difference --- it largely comes down to motive. One is attempting to display an outward behavior that will cause acceptable and desired outcome in the actions of others. The other one is a disposition nurtured by the Creator Himself within; speaking love, compassion, and generosity into your innermost being so you have no other option than to allow it to ooze from your being --- you have become a conduit for a fruit of the spirit that blesses not only yourself but those around you. 

Here’s the challenge --- throw off your ‘nice girl’ image and instead till the garden of your mind with kindness, a state of being --- not dependent on anyone else’s actions or words, resting solely on the Master Gardener’s presence.

Say goodbye to the Nice Girl persona and hello to the woman being groomed for a state of being called kindness!

PS --- This could have just as easily been titled Hazards of a Nice Guy; principles still ring true!

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Dive Deeper In To The Hazards of Being A Nice Girl

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Sensory overload does not adequately describe the sights and sounds my daughter and I encountered in our recent trip to New York City. The blinding signage in Times Square shouting messages to the passer-byers, daring them to ignore their persistence was relentless. The ominous presence of the NYPD, weapons ready, reminding us we weren’t in Indiana anymore. The skyscrapers sought to draw us in, convincing us of our miniscuity. People with dogged determination and focus strove to arrive quickly to their destination, scurrying as mice through a maze to their prize. Aromas mixed together into something undefinable and unappetizing.

However, if you paused and began to shut out the hustle-bustle, commercialism, and noise, beauty began to bloom within the cement jungle. There was the serenity of St. Patrick’s Cathedral where the architecture and reverence of the great cathedral brought solace in a city that seems unable to rest. The New York Public Library was populated with people who paused to read, explore art, demonstrate their talents… or sit in the adjacent Bryant Park and gaze on those who were expressing themselves in dance, music, and painting. Or enjoy a hot cocoa while taking in those who braved the ice rink. And what a welcome surprise that the towering buildings gave way and allowed for the openness of Central Park with trees, grace, ponds, rocks, beautiful bridges… what a breath of fresh air (okay minus the horse leftovers from the plethora of carriages). But people have slowed here --- they have escaped the city with its pressures and demands. Now, they sit on park benches and reflect; attempting to find what they lost within their soul. They play Frisbee, exercise through running and bike riding; remembering that the body and soul are connected. They visit with others, spend time with their children and pets; finding life and meaning in relationship.

How many things would gain clarity and even beauty in our lives if we paused, reflected, and related? Sometimes, most of the time, the most precious and meaningful gems in life are found when we stop, look up, gaze with fresh eyes at what is around us and be thankful! The greatest Artist of all time has surrounded us with beauty, but we have to examine what is right in front of us and embrace wherever we find ourselves. LOOK!

Beauty surrounds you. And what did we see when we paused in the great NYC that never sleeps:

• The blessing of 60 degree weather in January in NYC!

• Simple pleasure of beholding the iconic Rockefeller Christmas tree lit up with twinkling lights

• People of faith praying in St. Patrick’s Cathedral, seeking the truth in a city that tempts all with temporal and material

• A young mom and dad, working as a team to corral all their three young-ins and smiling and speaking tenderly to each other

• Artists of the canvas, music, and dance brave enough to display their talent for all to see

• Patrons at New York Public Library exploring history, architecture, and the written word --- giving evidence that reading isn’t a lost art after all

• The theater that quite literally makes books come alive, actors drawing us in to join them on this adventure

• An unexpected and delightful park that seems endless, surrounded by the gift of nature

• Quiet moments, sipping hot cocoa with my daughter, as we converse and watch the skaters with the New York Public Library as our backdrop will forever be etched in my memory

If you took time to cease, gaze all around you, what beauty would you see? What can you be thankful for amidst the chaos of life? What is right before you that you need to embrace?

Take the challenge of ceasing, pausing, reflecting, and embracing beauty. Test this ancient practice of being still and seeing with clarity and anticipation. Share with someone what benefits you reap.

In an obscure town of Bethlehem within the humble confines of a cave stable was born Someone extraordinary. A Savior broke the barrier between divine and earthly; giving us all opportunity to pause to the meaning and sanctity of it all. Can you imagine what was in the hearts and minds of those who encountered this God come to earth to literally be Immanuel, God with us?! Let’s travel back in time, placing ourselves within this story of old, hitting the pause button often to allow the meaning to nestle within our being, whispering truth and direction to our current path. Pausing creates the space to breathe in His grace, mercy, and compassion, in order to exhale the truth and beauty of this ancient love story.

Luke 2:6-7 “While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn.”

Pause

There is a season, a time for everything under the sun, and when the time is ripe, nothing impedes the forward momentum of that monumental, life-changing event --- not even ‘no vacancy’ signs. Most of what comes our way will not be what we expect or how we expected it to come, but come it will nonetheless. And how we respond to that less than perfect situation can determine our future steps. Our Lord specializes in taking our impossibilities, bleak circumstances, and breathing life, hope and meaning into them.

Luke 2:8-12 “And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.””

Pause

Can you imagine the astonishment and the fear these shepherds encountered at the harkening of the angel. To our knowledge there was nothing extraordinary about the night, other than one star appearing brighter than normal. And shepherds… no one bothered to tell them anything. They kept to themselves and let’s face it people liked it that way --- these smelly, nomad, loner beings were best kept at a distance. But the angel of the Lord interrupted that societal barrier and appeared to send a message loud and clear --- This Messiah, God with us, has come with the purpose to save all who are willing to be saved.

Luke 2:13-14 “Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.””

Pause

And then if that wasn’t enough to awaken those shepherds senses, a multitude of angels burst into the scene just to confirm the good news to all people and provide evidence of this radical, extravagant love our Father was extending to humankind on this night like no other!

Luke 2:15-16 “When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.”

Pause

Let’s be honest; they were probably dumbstruck for the first few minutes after the angels left them with only the stars twinkling against a dark sky. I can see them staring into the night, awaiting another flash of brilliance, a message that said “just kidding; you’ve been punked”. When that didn’t happen, they look around at each other as if to say, “Did that just really happen?” And one by one they began to nod and smile, excitement mounting and hope replacing the fear that had left them motionless. Then one bravely exclaims, “Let’s go”. And they do! And what emotions did they feel when their eyes finally beheld their hope, their Messiah, who promised to come to ALL.

Luke 2:17-18, 20 “When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them… The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Pause

The Messiah always takes our mess and makes a message for us to share with those around us. He touches within each one of us the part that doubts, hurts, and continually fails and He says, “All that brokenness will be restored into a beautiful mosaic masterpiece.” Each one of us is a work of art that boldly proclaims our Messiah to our circle of influence. And when people hear and see our message, they will be in awe because they know it didn’t come from us but was truly divine.

This Christmas take time to PAUSE. Cease doing and just be in the presence of the One gift that never wears out nor ever goes out of style. This Gift will continue to give all year long if you create space in your life to PAUSE and seek Him. What is the Gift telling you when you PAUSE and listen to this timeless Christmas story?

Have you ever seen a pond that is stagnant --- nothing coming in and nothing going out? Those are water sources that you might second guess drinking from because they are contaminated with bacteria. It’s a breeding pool for pathogens. An unappealing analogy can be drawn about our mindset. If we choose to remain in overthinking, worry, or doubt --- allowing nothing of benefit in --- nor anything related to praise out --- we will be stagnant in our action, remaining in what my daddy refers to as “stinkin thinkin”.

However, the converse is also true. Have you seen the overflow of a waterfall running off a mountain cliff into a beautiful, crystal river. And in return, the active stream emptying into a greater expanse of water? Now, that is living water --- powerful, moving, feeding --- flowing in and out. Can you see where this is leading?

Likewise, our minds can bathe in thanksgiving which never comes back void. There is a natural reciprocal response to giving thanks. Envision a grateful heart as a waterfall pouring into your soul, providing life and perspective to your mind which in turn nourishes our motivation to move, act, and live. Our Creator has designed each of us to thrive when in a state of thankfulness.

Don’t misunderstand me. This is not a declaration that your circumstances will change. Rather, an expectation that by giving thanks, your soul will be given fresh hope, joy, and motivation, nourishing your mind with proper perspective, peace, and contentment so you are able to move forward despite what is happening.

This Thanksgiving season is a perfect time to begin the art of giving thanks, finding all the many reasons to be thankful. Then anticipate the science (orchestrated by our Heavenly Father) of the unfolding of reciprocity. For giving thanks and praise never returns empty-handed!

“…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” --- I Thessalonians 5:18

“What if, today, we were grateful for everything?” --- Charlie Brown

Fall is an excellent reminder of the beauty that exists with change and the inevitable necessity of dying in order for renewal. Change can often feel threatening and terrifying because the unknown is involved. Or it can create anticipation and energy for what is to come.

Excitedly and impatiently, I await autumn—

• the crisp, cool air that overtakes the smothering humid heat from summer

• the marvelous artwork that bursts forth in brilliant colors replacing the monotonous singular hue of green

• bonfires that gather families/friends together to enjoy the evening skies and swap stories

• children adorning themselves in their favorite costumes and receiving candy for their night of make believe

• a season of Thanksgiving where we offer thanks for all we should have been remembering year around

• pumpkin patches, pumpkin doughnuts and lattes, pumpkin cookies and pies, roasted pumpkin seeds, basically everything pumpkin and spice!

Fall over and over reminds me that change can be beautifully blessed and necessary for growth. And it can be welcomed with anticipation and intrigue as we embrace the appeal of each season, recognizing the importance of turning points and equipping ourselves with the proper perspective. Sometimes we might be tempted to meet change with an obstinate, stubborn attitude to remain where one is or to allow it to paralyze us as we focus on the what-if’s, fears, and obstacles in our paths.

However, there is another way to meet change — By adjusting your perspective to whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy! My daughter takes a lot of science classes; she’s brilliant (I’m not biased at all). Recently, she shared that in her Health Fitness class that the teacher discussed the scientific evidence for the mindset of thankfulness being beneficial to our health. Wow! Ironically, God’s Word tells us to do this quite often. There should be no surprise that our Creator would establish a principle that leads to well-being.

Our mindset has the power to completely alter our thoughts, creating a proper perspective to meet change head-on. And in so doing, we are inspired to embrace the present moment, along with its changes, as something that has a potential purpose we cannot see currently, and yet is necessary to address the rest of our story. We need to lean into change, accepting the fact that each of our stories includes:

• ups and downs

• stagnancy and movement

• contentment and restlessness

• speed-ups and slow-downs

• victories and defeats

• mountains and valleys

Each of our journeys are full of dichotomies (read Ecclesiastes) — but one thing remains the same for me
— the steadfast compassion and love of my Lord who works all things toward our good – which in itself is a beauty that is a complete mystery and miracle. Embrace the changing seasons in your own life with a spirit of awe, inspiration, and thankfulness.

Our society is driven by formulas, self-help steps, and quick-fix methods. But in reality, do formulas resolve our weaknesses, problems, and ailments? Okay, other than math and particular sciences. Do they really hold the key to answers and life transformation? Or are they simply a mirage tempting us with hope and an easy way forward only to leave us once again empty and hopeless.

Life is jam packed with questions of why, where, when, and how long. However, answers to life’s difficulties and heartbreak rarely arrive neatly packaged. Instead, they tend to meander alongside our path --- intersecting at just the right time and with just the amount of information we are prepared to digest. There is a mystery to this life that cannot be adequately explained and involves a lifetime journey of discovery. Life is meant to be experienced and radically lived, and within this endeavor we bump up against life’s questions. Questions will always be; problems will always present themselves; sickness and heartache will accompany our steps. But these are not meant to leave us in despair. In fact, it may be the motivation needed to spur us to seek our Lord, authentically pursuing thankfulness, relationship, and direction.

Formulas are objective, short-lived, and often empty of substance. Relationships, even with our Creator/Redeemer are messy, subjective, and lifelong but full of meaning and purpose. The greatest blessings in life do not come in gift wrap from Nordstrom’s and an exquisite bow on top. They come “out of sorts”, mysterious, unexplainable, faith-based, and full of surprises.

Let me offer an illustration --- AKA --- my children. There were no formulas; what worked with one didn’t the other --- who knew?! They literally exploded out of both ends of their body and kept me up in the middle of the night for undefined reasons. But oh, the mystery of the joy that flooded my being when they smiled and cooed at me. There was neither method nor blueprint to parenting; no perfect way forward was available. Instead, in its place, was a desire to ask questions, pursue relationship, and a willingness to travel the winding road riddled with ups and downs, detours, graveled paths, and harrowing bridges with my two little ones. And I was richer for the adventure.

You see, formulas and easy answers never satisfy because they are deceptive; promising us easy fixes, shortcuts, and pat answers that don’t exist in our daily narratives. Life’s questions are often resolved in the heat of battle, in the daily writing of our story through trial and error, in our determination to not quit but persevere. And guess what you won’t find your purpose or passion in a formula either. You build your passion and purpose right where you are… in the present (Shout out to Liz Forkin Bohannon for her book Beginner’s Pluck that led me to this discovery). So… the next time you are tempted to break life down into a formula --- Don’t! Allow yourself to experience life --- all of it! Stop, breathe deeply, listen intently, radically seek, and always ask! For in the messy, the less than perfect, the unknown, you just may discover beauty, fulfillment, and abundance.

Books have been my solace amidst chaos, my escape from the mundane, my exploration into unknown worlds. A good story weaves itself into my heart, taking me captive until the final written word. Delving into the written word has the power to inspire, literally changing the direction of its recipient. Biographies share experience and wisdom gained by our fellow sojourners as they tackle specific struggles, overcome obstacles, pursue hope, and remind us of what is possible. Overall, the words penned on sheets of paper have:

v  Entertained

v  Inspired

v  Coached

v  Reminded me of Truth

v  Allowed me to Dream

v  Hope

v  Believe

v  Changed my perspective

v  And readjusted my view on life

Pouring over the written word has allowed me the privilege to enter another’s world and leave a bit different than when the first word was read. Thought provoking questions, hope secure as an anchor, inspiration that influences behavior and direction, navigational devices for the future, entertainment ---all these are reasons to read.

Don’t have money for a vacation, open a book to travel anywhere you want. Feel stuck in life? Turn the pages of a biography to see how others have learned to rise above their difficulties. Need a break from reality? Feast your eyes on a story that takes you to another place. In a perpetual cycle of hopelessness? Dive into the pages of the Living Word, otherwise known as the Bible. You might be surprised by what you find.

Don’t allow reading to become a lost art in your life.  

Now where did I leave that book?