I really thought I would have more figured out by now. As a young adult, I had determined it was fairly simple. Follow Christ with all your heart and all will be well. Yes and no. As life unfolded, the humbling experience of realizing how little I knew became a reality. Life no longer fit neatly into a box; the heaps of uncontrollable variables and unmet expectations were a rude awakening to my fairytale dream of how life should be. (Key in any Disney movie where all ends with Happily Ever After) And try as I might, I was unable to keep order, control, and optimism. Basically, …

Life Came Unraveled

It starts small… with just one isolated situation that doesn’t fit the mold of your expectations. You are able to write it off as just an unfortunate occurrence. But then begins the domino effect where one by one the structures and plans you so neatly constructed for your life begin to topple. You are left agonizing about how something appearing perfectly placed could so easily fall apart. You cave inward to ask the inevitable questions:

What did I do wrong?

How can I fix it?

Will it ever be the same?

These are scary questions to ask because we may not like the answers we discover. Much of the unraveling is created due to uncontrollable variables and unmet expectations of life. Sometimes the answers to the above are “Nothing”, “You can’t”, and “No”. This realization can throw you into a hopeless, depressed mindset, left grappling with the motivation of how to move forward.

All of this is compounded when we punish ourselves further wondering if God is present in this suffering. Our tendency is to second guess and mull over past decisions and behaviors with the hope that there is an answer to thwart the unraveling from continuing or to prevent in the future. This agonizing perspective has sought to consume and destroy me from within.

Somewhere along life’s path, I decided that suffering, the unwelcome and unexpected life turns, meant I had screwed up --- something was wrong with me or my decisions. The enemy used these speed bumps to distract me from ‘Whose I am’ and ‘His purpose’ for my life. The evil one desired to take my eyes off the source of life, peace, wisdom, and joy. Conversely, my eyes began to gaze on myself and the overwhelming, looming obstacle in front of me.

Kyle Idleman addresses this mixed-up thinking in “Don’t Give Up” and so profoundly explains, “Peter and the other disciples struggle to believe that God cares, because they’re doing what we often do --- measuring God’s concern for us by how hard it’s raining.”

Often, we have falsely believed that if life is full of heartache, disappointment, and hurt then God must be punishing us or doesn’t care about us. In actuality, often when we are in the center of God’s will, it rains harder because the enemy is attacking with full force.

Here is the paradox --- suffering in our lives is an opportunity to grow closer to our Lord. Although I don’t believe He causes the suffering, I believe He allows it in order for us to draw nearer to Him, to rely on Him because He is confident that He is exactly what we need. When you realize you have no definitive and absolute control over what ‘falls down’ in your life, you find yourself in a perfect position to look up to Him who does.

So back to the initial question held within the title of this post ---

Where is God When it Hurts?

Right beside you; you are not alone!

Simple, profound, and comforting truth --- God is with you! And if we allow Him, He will create a mosaic of miracles, victories, and redemption from the most broken and seemingly hopeless pieces and situations of our lives. Take a deep breath, remove your hands from the steering wheel, and trust Him who can carry you through.

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