Seeking Clarity in Decision-Making
Decision-making can involve a period of self-imposed, excruciating waiting and painstaking pondering of the choices. Being an Enneagram 9, I flip flop like a fish freshly reeled in onto the boat deck. Working with people, I’m convinced I’m not the only one who struggles “to get it right” when approached with that ever-perplexing fork in the road.
Some of you are impulsive and make choices on a whim and live with the consequences. And some of you look only at what could go wrong --- allowing the risk analysis to take the lead in your planning. Others of you choose to do what you deem “right” even though your heart leads differently. And what about those of you who desire uniqueness above all else --- your soul cries out for your decisions to be varied from the status quo.
If you are human, then you have had to grapple with seeking clarity while making decisions no matter your personality type. Here are some stumbling blocks you may have run into during your journey to determining the next step.
Procrastination is a postponing of a decision in the hopes the decision will ultimately be made for you. You use all your delaying tactics --- weighing the pros and cons, awaiting a sign or a season of least resistance, complete menial tasks that suddenly have become urgent, take a poll among your family, friends and acquaintances (you can never have too much input – said no one!) Procrastination often is unnecessary and impedes forward movement. Become curious about your procrastination – “Why are you putting off a decision?”
Nothing exhausts us more or shuts down creativity like perfectionism. Perfectionism can lead to paralysis or a constantly seeking for better – a life without discontent. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to do something right or improve upon. Perfectionism becomes a problem when the focus is on the impossible feat of being perfect – without fault, errors, or wrong turns. Some of our best inventions have come to fruition through a series of failures.
Waffling is the result of procrastination and perfectionism. It’s the inability to reach a concrete conclusion and stay the course when the doubts rush in. Basically, waffling leads to idleness which leads to no decision being clearly made. Wafflers need to be aware of the emotional toll such a deliberation takes upon the soul and mind. I can personally attest to this. Another name for this is second-guessing, and it does us no favors!
A myriad of options in our society can be a detriment to the process of decision-making. In an article, “Too Many Choices” the American Psychological Association quotes Barry Schwartz (PhD and Swarthmore College psychologist and author of The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less) --- “But there’s a point where all of this choice starts to be not only unproductive, but counterproductive – a source of pain, regret, worry about missed opportunities and unrealistically high expectations.” Bottom line – narrowing your choices can streamline the decision-making process.
Often another source of angst in our determination is to decide between two things. Do you want cake or ice cream? But couldn’t it be both, and? Why can’t we have both cake and ice cream? Sometimes we are attempting to make a decision based upon this or that when it should be the both, and decision.
As we navigate all these stumbling blocks in our path to clarity, keep in mind their goal is to sabotage and prevent us from moving forward. Even my non-decisive ‘9’ knows that clarity often is confirmed once the decision is made. That is where clarity, once disguised, becomes evident in the freedom, peace and confidence experienced after making that initial step, that very 1st decision to move forward.
Subscribe to my Newsletter for more helpful tips to Clarity in Decision Making