I’ve done quite a bit of reflection concerning the word pride. If you are like me, you grew up being taught pride comes before the fall and considering the serious offense of thinking more of yourself than you ought. Simultaneously, you clung to the words of a loved one, “I am proud of you”, as a lifeline. What an oxymoron --- pride is good, pride is bad.

“I just want you to be proud of me.” How many of us have uttered these vulnerable words throughout life? And how many times have you heard it from your children, co-workers, friends, and family? Consequently, what do we mean when we say “I am proud of you”?

Often that phrase is attached to certain behavior, and at times particular character traits. It carries feelings of worth, being seen as productive and capable, praise for a job well done, and recognizes achievement. In and of itself, we greatly appreciate when others notice us --- it can provide motivation, joy, and satisfaction to name a few.

But what if deep down, we feel inadequate, unworthy, inferior, “not enough”? Then even if someone says, “I am proud of you”, we will believe it to be a lie, insincere, and untrue. We believe we have to do more, succeed more, and be recognized more in order for us to meet the criteria for someone to be proud of us. We become addicted to chasing down more approval. Seeking for others to be proud of us leads to continually doing to attain that ever elusive pride --- always shifting and unsatisfying.

I can’t recollect any scripture where our Lord said He was proud of us. Could it be because He knew it would rob us of lasting peace and freedom? It’s fleeting due to circumstances and what we do and don’t do --- how we excel or fail --- rather than on

---Who We Are---

So I’d like to challenge you with a task I’ve taken on. Let’s eliminate, or at the very least reduce, the phrase “I am proud of you” and replace it with phrases that each and every one of us needs to hear. The words that our Creator and Savior so generously lavished upon each of us, and may we have ears to hear them:

I love, accept, and forgive you!

I value you as a masterpiece created with great purpose!

You have meaning and are relevant in the present!

Your past sins and failures do not define you!

You are not a mistake!

When we are able to see ourselves and others as God’s masterpiece --- faults, strengths, failures, giftedness all lumped together in a mosaic of beauty --- the result?…

Oh, the blessed freedom of body, mind, and soul!

Defined By What?

Shagae Jones